Practicing HIS Truths over my feelings

This is a one room home for 5-6 teenage boys who have no home. It is on the same small piece of land that the church and pastor Jonathan's home are on. These boys are being taken care of by the church, but mainly by pastor Jonathan and his family. Jonathan has a wife and six children. He finds the time to minister all over Kenya, travel to the US to share his ministry with American partners, and take care of these "extra" children. This is the one and only set of bunk beds that these 5-6 teenage boys share. If there is no room, they will put a mat on the dirt floor to sleep. I cannot even tell you how truly humbling it is to see how little they have and how much they give. I was so impacted by the self-sacrificing, God's heart generosity that Jonathan and his family live out! Truly humbling and eye opening!

My oldest and I arrived in Kenya yesterday, after two days of airports and flying. So, I have to make a decision. I just didn't have the time to complete my Kenyan God story through my blog before we came. I so desperately wanted to, but will have to when I get back. ....I kindof left everyone hanging...SO sorry! ... But, that leaves me in an awkward place today because so many want to know how we are doing, and what we are doing daily here. So, my decision is to post what we are doing here now, and write the back story when I have time on the blog. So here was our Thursday, January 28th: Boarding a plane in Nairobi, on our way to kisumu. Kisumu is the town where Jonathan, the pastor I met on the plane to Nashville, lives. He will introduce us to his ministry in and around kisumu. We will meet widows and orphans who he ministers to, in hopes that we can partner together in ministry for the future.

Today will be three months since I have written a blog post.  The fall/winter is the hardest time of the year for me.  All of our birthdays (save one) are between August and December.  Throw in the anniversary of that horrible day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas and you have an intensely emotional five months.  This year was extremely hard and ridiculously weighty compared to last year.  I find myself in a grief-season of anger, which would burst at the slightest mishap.  I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, and quite frankly I didn't care, until it dawned on me that anger was part of the unpredictable cycle of grief.  The knowledge that this was part of the process helped to relieve some of the anxiety and fits of rage that I was experiencing.  I have not written because I was angry and lost and bitter and apathetic and hopeless. Then yesterday as I was in a store, in another town,...