Practicing HIS Truths over my feelings

Until my precious husband took his last earthly breath, I did not truly understand the Scripture found in Philippians 1:21, "For me to live is Christ [His life in me], and to die is gain [the gain of the glory of eternity]." Now that I have felt such great loss here, my grip on this earth and this life has been loosened. My life is the Lord's and my goal is to bring as many souls to Heaven with me as I can. I am only a worker for The Kingdom. It is God who turns a heart to Himself. My offer to you is the simple choice between eternal life in Heaven, or eternal death in Hell. There is no promise of tomorrow, or your next breath. I truly know and understand this now! Please know that my heart is one of love! I do this because I know of His Goodness! I have and continue to personally experience HIM! HE is good to me, even in my darkest hour (Jeremiah 29:11, Psalm 23:4). The simple truth is that ever person ever born has sinned (Romans 3:23). The payment for any sin (large or...

How do I function Lord when the tidal wave has run me over and I feel as though I am drowning?  How do I live this life with such contrasting emotions from one minute to the next?  I have sat peacefully soaking up the Son, tasting the crisp air of Your Goodness and Truth.  However, some days (and some moments, for that matter) I am hit with the fears of my future and the awareness of my inadequacies.  I enthusiastically sat before a room full of beautiful women and thumped my Bible, with genuine sincerity and belief.  Immediately trailing, the opposing feelings of doubt invade as though that person and this one are not the same.  I believe but I am struggling.  Today I drove through Starbucks to grab a warm coffee on this cold and rainy day.  As the barista was taking my money she asked, "Are you still trying to wake up?"  I wanted to scream, "YES!  I am trying to wake up from the terror and...

Precious Anonymous ("I greatly enjoy your writing!! What great insight you have! I am a fellow believer but in a very different place! I understand the submission part and it not being "if/then"...but what if your husband is not the Godly role model and says extremely hurtful things?! How do I submit to a husband who is not being Christ-like in our marriage, home, and life?"), First of all, I want you to know that you are not anonymous, nor unseen by the Lord.  HE is El Roi, the God who Sees (Genesis 16:13)!  HE sees you and all that you go through, each moment of your life!  HE sees me and every tear that I cry and every heart-ache that pangs me!  HE is present in every moment that your husband is unkind....look for HIM in your storm!  Keep your eyes FIXED on HIM in the very middle of the torrent that threatens to take you under (Hebrews 12:1-2, Matthew 14:22-33)! I have prayed and asked the Lord to give me wisdom as I write this response to you.  ...

I so wanted to write this post before today, but with New Year's resolutions, who cares when you actually start them!!!  I am honestly encouraging a life change, not just a New Year's resolution that will quickly be dropped and the old habit easily picked up again.  I am writing to all you married folks out there.  I am going to write a plea from someone who wishes she could make changes in her marriage today.  Yet, that opportunity was stolen from me this August and I wish, with all my being, that I had the chance to be a different wife to my precious Conner.  I wish that I had the opportunity, as you do, to make a conscientious decision to change my behavior towards, and my thought pattern about my dear husband!   It's like that song, "You don't know what you got 'til it's gone," but with greater pain than can be explained in words.  Words can't even come close to describing the pain of losing him! I wo...

So I have been mad lately.  Just plain old, spitting mad.  If you noticed, I took a lengthy break (45 days) some time back because I felt I had absolutely nothing worth writing.  I sunk down in to a pit and quite frankly, had not much desire to come out of it. Now, here during this holiday season...."The most wonderful time of the year".....I have begun to sink again.  I am not exactly sure what the trigger is, but all these happy and content people are making me angry.  It's as if the world is moving on at record pace and I am sitting still with the expectation to get better and move on.  Well, I don't want to move on.  I want to rewind and have an official redo.  The deepest part of my being wants to wish and pray hard enough, that time would reverse and rewind to August 12th, and undo the horrible events of that day that have left me confused and extremely empty today. There is a part of me that subconsciously reasons that if I protest enou...

As I was reading this passage out of Revelation 6:9-11 (AMP), "When the Lamb broke open the fifth seal, I saw at the foot of the altar the souls of those whose lives had been sacrificed for [adhering to] the Word of God and for the testimony they had borne.  They cried in a loud voice, O [Sovereign] Lord, holy and true, how long now before You will sit in judgment and avenge our blood upon those who dwell on the earth?  Then they were each given a long and flowing and festive white robe and told to rest and wait patiently a little longer, until the number should be complete of their fellow servants and their brethren who were to be killed as they themselves had been." I was encouraged and comforted.  I believe that this passage shows the awareness of earth's happenings, to those that have entered Heaven ahead of me.  These martyrs were crying out to the Lord for justice for those that persecuted them.  It seems to me that they were asking...

What do you do when you don't want to join in on celebrating "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" because for you, you are walking through the most horrible loss in your life? How are you supposed to stomach the Christmas cards that arrive in your mailbox everyday with smiling, kissing, happy, whole families pictured?  The ones with the husband embracing his wife?  The ones where his babies are perched happily on his lap?  The ones that constantly remind you of the chasm that has been gouged out of your soul-that hole that reminds you of how sick and sad and suffering this world truly is. Where do you put those feelings that arise when you tell your daughter to go change into the clothes she wants to wear after school and she returns to you, wearing her "Watch Dog Dad" shirt.  That shirt that is such a prestigious mark for any kindergartner whose Daddy is serving in the school for the day.  That shirt that they both had and both wo...