Sometimes when life is really hard and you get tired of seeing happiness all around you (as you drown in misery and turmoil) you have to escape to a place that refreshes your soul with the four littles who breathe purpose into your life. I can't sit here, in this house, waiting and hoping for something to change. What has been given and with more difficulty, what has been taken away is my current reality. Something has changed and reformed the entirety of our lives, my job is to wrap my mind around it and deal with it. I did not choose all of this, but I did plan on and choose some of it. I chose to say yes to the most wonderful man on earth. I chose to give our marriage everything I had, and I will never regret that. Nine and a half years of bliss are mine to be grateful for. Conner and I chose (as far as we could) these four babies that are my driving force. We chose to allow God to create a family, if that was HIS Will, and create HE did.....a BIG on
The purpose of these writings is somewhat selfish, as they work therapy for my weary soul. Here is a place where I can refocus (purposefully) on HOPE and GOD'S TRUTH, over what I am feeling. Now, I don't believe that feelings are wrong; what I do believe is that feelings are great followers and unstable leaders. I pray that you might encounter The Savior who loves me, has protected and guided me through my valley of the shadow of death.