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Showing posts from May, 2016

You are God, of all else I'm letting go

My mind has been clouded with troubles and concerns that most women will never encounter.  Everything is shrouded in sorrow, and confusion reigns on the throne of my mind.  The new life that I am forced to live comes with an entirely fresh set of emotions, responsibilities, and weights that far exceed anything I have ever had to muster in the past.  At times I feel that I am spiraling out of control, on the fast-track to destruction.  Yesterday was one of those ridiculously tough days.  A day when all I could do was lay in bed and cry, and honestly that's all I did for hours.  Nothing seemed to help and no one seemed to have the power to rescue me.  I felt hopeless, desperate, and alone.  Though I have family willing and ready to help, none of that comforted me in my depressive pit, nor did I have the strength to seek out their help.

I tried vocalizing the darkness within, yet I felt no relief.  I tried worship and prayer, yet the anguish was binding.  I tried emotional release th…