Today's weather was a picture of what was going on inside me. I have been feeling like a cloud is following me around and I cannot escape its shadow. The depression presses on every emotion within me and I cannot escape its clutches. This morning the weather was rainy and the dark clouds covered the light of the sun. I finished a doctor's appointment around 10:30 AM, went out to my car, sat in the parking lot and just cried. I called my sister and shared with her the depressed state of mind I couldn't seem to get myself out of. I told her how cruel I thought the Lord was for not stopping the accident that killed my beloved Conner. I told her that I couldn't wrap my mind around how I would follow HIM any longer because I simply didn't understand how HE wouldn't just show up (physically) and walk with me, if HE did indeed allow Conner to die. Where was HE in the middle of all this? I asked the age old question today, "Where is this good God in th
The purpose of these writings is somewhat selfish, as they work therapy for my weary soul. Here is a place where I can refocus (purposefully) on HOPE and GOD'S TRUTH, over what I am feeling. Now, I don't believe that feelings are wrong; what I do believe is that feelings are great followers and unstable leaders. I pray that you might encounter The Savior who loves me, has protected and guided me through my valley of the shadow of death.