Perspective

As I was reading this passage out of Revelation 6:9-11 (AMP),

"When the Lamb broke open the fifth seal, I saw at the foot of the altar the souls of those whose lives had been sacrificed for [adhering to] the Word of God and for the testimony they had borne.  They cried in a loud voice, O [Sovereign] Lord, holy and true, how long now before You will sit in judgment and avenge our blood upon those who dwell on the earth?  Then they were each given a long and flowing and festive white robe and told to rest and wait patiently a little longer, until the number should be complete of their fellow servants and their brethren who were to be killed as they themselves had been."

I was encouraged and comforted.  I believe that this passage shows the awareness of earth's happenings, to those that have entered Heaven ahead of me.  These martyrs were crying out to the Lord for justice for those that persecuted them.  It seems to me that they were asking the Lord to return and make all the wrongs right.

When someone you dearly love dies, you have to evaluate what the core theology that you stand on actually is.  I have never really evaluated what I believed about Heaven, beyond the means to get there.  Now that my precious husband is there until either I die or Jesus returns, my devotion to studying and understanding Heaven has increased greatly. 

One of the precious take-away's from this Scripture (and others), for me, is that Conner has an awareness of what is going on down here and God's redemptive work being played out in me and his four, precious children.  Ultimately I have the greatest intercessor ever even imagined in the Holy Spirit (Romans 8:26-27) Himself.  But for the Lord to also comfort me through the belief that Conner and other saints are interceding for me is beyond the explicit truth of my Holy Spirit's intercession. 

Many times throughout Scripture God uses mere men to point to Himself.  They were not God, nor were they worthy of the praise that should only go to HIM, but they were beautiful works of HIS Hands, HIS Design, HIS Power, and HIS Grace-intended to bring glory to the One.  That is what my Conner was to me.  He was an amazing example of what God could do with one who is completely devoted to HIM!  Conner's life helps me to stay the course in hopes that one day my children will look not only to their father's example, but possibly to their mother's example of faith in the One True God and what miraculous things He produces in His Servants (Hebrews 11).  I have the wonderful example of the faithful who have gone on before me, but my eyes are fixed on Jesus-the Leader and Source of my faith (Hebrews 12:2-4).

So my encouragement lies in the comfort that Conner goes before the Lord (face to face), interceding for me and his children.  This I believe to be true.


Yesterday was my first day to drive Conner's tractor.  I spent a few hours mowing a new place for our cattle.  It was quite strange to be dressed (head to toe) in camo and "work gear" that Conner had bought for me.  I was wearing the first pair of boots that he bought for me, and the camo jacket and baseball cap that he bought last Christmas for me to go hunting with him.  I am not much of a huntress or fisher woman (or at all), but my Conner was a skilled hunter and fisherman.  He wanted his family with him wherever he was-whatever he was doing, so he made sure that we were outfitted to blend in with him.  And there I was sitting on his tractor, decked out in camo and boots, with no husband to teach me and monitor my progress.  I was mowing land that he would have been mowing and organizing cattle that he would have had charge of.

 

I was thankful for the provision and foresight that the Lord gave Conner, but deeply saddened that I was having to learn this new role.  I am rarely without words except when in utter confusion before the Lord.  I had nothing-no words to pray.  So, there I was bumping along on the tractor, constantly checking the 15 foot bat-wing that I was dragging along behind.  If Conner had been there for my inaugural tractor-mowing run, I would have been a nervous wreck.  Nervous if I was doing it right.  Nervously checking to make sure I didn't turn the tires into the bat-wing's drive shaft.  Nervous to impress this man that even after all those years, I still longed to amaze.  Yet in my new reality, I sat there on that yellow seat with a new duty to fill the role I have been thrust in to.  Not nervous, but resolved to learn and work well at something that I never wanted full responsibility for. 

My children, niece and nephew cheered for me from the back of my parent's truck, giving me "thumbs up" and "I love you" signs.  My mind raced with the thoughts of the normalcy of four short months ago when I would have been sitting in the back of our truck, with our four children as we cheered for Conner (because we would have been there) and eagerly tried to capture his attention with our affectionate sign language.  Yet here I was in a drastically different place in this life, trying to hold the pieces together.

When I returned to my babies we began to discuss the events of the day and our feelings.  I asked if they thought Daddy would be proud of me and the answer was an emphatic "Yes!"  Then I asked the question that I had no answer to and was wondering myself, "Do you think that God allows Daddy to see things like that?"  To which my precious oldest answers, "Yes!  When your descendants do something important, God let's you see it."  I don't know without a doubt that this is true, but I have an overwhelming impression that when eternity is involved, so are God's people (especially those that have gone before).  They are cheering us on from the other side and asking the Lord for favor on our behalf.  Now, I am not suggesting that tractor mowing is eternal, but His Plans and Purposes for my life are eternal.  His Leadings of my husband and now me, as the head of our home, are wonderfully orchestrated to intersect my life with other eternal souls (headed to Heaven or Hell).  Those good works set before Conner to walk in and also for me to walk in are eternal-far outreaching our feeble efforts and offerings.  He is the One with the Power.  He is the One Who we long to bring glory to.  So I began thinking about that which outlasts our lives and the weight that carries in the supernatural realm.  There is rejoicing in Heaven when souls are won for the Lord (Luke 15:7).  Then, these Heaven-dwelling martyrs are crying out to the Lord for justice from the sin they experienced on earth.  And they are asking the Lord to end the suffering and to make all things new.   So, wouldn't those in Heaven be concerned and aware of the "lasting" actions of this world?  Wouldn't they be longing for us to see with Heaven eyes?

But the thing that struck me the hardest was the position of the martyrs.  They were at the foot of the altar of the Lord, crying out in a loud voice.  The Lord speaks to their request and quiets their hearts, not with a Yes!, but with comfort.  Comforting them with the knowledge that He is in control and has a plan.  With the serenity that all things, even the evil things of this world, are governed by a Sovereign God who has already secured redemption for His Chosen. 

So, my heart is filled with hope that Conner cares deeply for the eternal things that myself and his children are involved in.  That he not only sees us, but that because of his perspective-in the very Presence of God, he can wait patiently for the Lord to complete His Redemptive work.

Can't this be true for us? 

Can't we go to Him-before His Altar-acknowledging, declaring and accepting His Sovereignty, Holiness, and Truth while presenting our humble requests? 

Then, as we sit in His Presence, He tells us to rest-rest from our striving and toiling after meaningless things.  Rest from our worry of what tomorrow will or won't bring.  Rest from the burdens that this life shackles us with.  Rest because we must only wait patiently a little longer-a little longer before His Plan is complete and He makes all things right and new.  Trust in His Sovereign Plan. 

But the place that we find His Comfort, Rest and Peace is the place of submission to His Will and His Sovereignty-the entirety of His Sovereignty, not picking and choosing only that which we like and makes us comfortable, but the whole shebang!  And in His Presence, we find that eternal perspective.  That eternal perspective that will keep us moving forward in HIS Plan for our lives, and the lives HE has planned for us to impact.